Giving With Intention and Love - May 15
2 Corinthians 9:6-7 & Mark 12:41-44
Deborah Laforet
Giving With Intention and Love
Let us pray. May the words from my lips and the meditations of my heart be guided by the Spirit and be words of wisdom for our world today. Amen.
Do you know those people who are skilled at giving gifts? They’re the ones who will buy you a book on a topic that you had just recently discussed, or they will bring you an apple pie because they know it’s your favourite, or will bring you a water bottle because they heard you recently lost yours. They are experts at knowing what to give and they’re good at it because they love doing it.
Then there are those people who are so good at service. Those are the ones you see volunteering for everything. They will shovel your driveway because they heard you have a bad back. They will offer to watch your house while you’re on vacation. They don’t do this because they expect anything in return; they just want to help.
We all have our own way of expressing love. Have you heard of the five love languages? I think I may have even mentioned it in a previous sermon. The five love languages are written about in a book by Gary Chapman. He theorizes that there are five languages in which people express their love. Jeff and I heard him speak at a marriage conference we attended a few years ago. Jeff came to the conclusion that he expresses his love by offering words of affirmation, and I express mine by finding ways to spend quality time with the people I love.
I’ve already mentioned two others, giving gifts and acts of service. The fifth love language is physical touch. Those are the ones who want to hold hands, love to give hugs, pat you on the back, and hold you when you cry. Our love language of course is not the only way we feel love, but it tends be the dominant way.
And here’s the kicker. Not only are these the ways we express our love; they are also how we feel loved. For example, I love cooking with my nephew. He has a book of recipes that we are making our way through. I love this time with him and this is one way I show my love for him. But when he visits or when I visit him and he eagerly pulls out his cookbook ready for the next recipe, I see the excitement in him to spend this time with me, and I feel loved.
As much as we might like to give gifts, we also love it when others give us gifts. As much as one likes to offer their love through physical touch, they also love to be touched. As much as one might offer words of affirmation to others, they need to hear those words from others. Hearing Gary Chapman talk about these five gifts of love helped me to realize how I express my love, how I feel loved, but also how intentional I need to be when offering my love to others. Just because my love language is quality time, doesn’t mean my loved ones feel the same.
I'm a person of few words, and not one that grew up in a household where we used lots of encouraging words to one another, but knowing Jeff feels love through words of affirmation means I have to be more intentional about offering my love with words, and not doing it because I have to and with resentment but because I want him to feel loved and I want to express that love. As Carilyn read for us from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, “You must give according to what you have inwardly decided - not sadly, not reluctantly, for God loves a giver who gives cheerfully.” I think we all know and love those people who give cheerfully, and we know it feels better for us to give cheerfully, to give from our hearts and not because someone is twisting our arm.
We veered off a little this week from our Paul’s letter to read a gospel story. This one will be familiar to some. Some call it the widow’s mite, which refers to the two coins given by the widow in our story. In this story, Jesus is watching people put money into the collection box at the temple. There is a big contrast between the rich who put a great deal into the box, and the widow who puts in two coins, but Jesus points out it’s the widow who has given more than all the others, for she has given all she had to live on.
Now first, widows were some of the most disadvantaged people in Jesus’ time because they had to rely on men to support them, fathers, brothers, sons, uncles, nephews, etc. and not all families were able to accommodate an extra person in their household, some resented having to take for their widowed relative, and some widows did not have a male relative on whom to rely. All throughout the bible, widows and orphans are seen as the most vulnerable and in need of support. In this story, Jesus compares what this widow has given to the great sums that others have given. We don’t know this widow’s circumstances but we assume she doesn’t have the surplus of others because she only has these two small coins to offer. Although she does not have much, she has decided to offer this gift to the temple. Why?
There are many theories as to why, and I’m not going to go through them or pretend that I know the answer, but I can offer one idea that connects with today’s theme. Maybe this was her way of expressing her love, a way of giving with intention. Maybe her faith and her temple were so important to her that making this donation was more important than anything else for which she could have used that money. Jesus points out that this very small gift is greater than all the the other gifts. Her intention and her love made it greater.
Some people will give their very last coin, will give their only free moment of the day, will give the last of their strength, to support something or someone they love. This sacrifice of giving is such a strong expression of love that it’s hard to dismiss, hard to ignore, and hard to miss. This is what Jesus saw in this widow that was missing in the wealthy that gave from their surplus. It was not a hardship for them.
When we have someone show up to an event, who we know doesn’t have transportation, and took three buses to get there, in the rain, we know it was important to them that they be there. When a family who has very little makes sure that they have a big Christmas meal and presents under the tree, we know they went the extra mile to make that happen. When someone going through mental health struggles, anxiety, depression, grief, is still able to offer words of support to others or be present to them during a crisis, we know how important it is for them to support the ones they love.
Just like the widow who gave those two small coins, the love we share is not about how much we give, it’s about the intention and love behind the gift. When Jeff, who is early to bed, stays up and waits for me so that we can chat before bed, I appreciate the intention. When a good friend knows I’m terrible at phone calls, but calls anyway, I am grateful for her persistence. Last week, I talked about my aunt who flew me to Florida because she wanted to know me better. When this happens, I feel valued. People’s intentional expressions of love, through quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, or giving of gifts, can transform the world, one person at a time, because when people receive love, it makes it difficult not to share it back.
If you want to learn about your love language, there are quizzes online. You can go to 5lovelanguages.com, but just like every other personality or behaviour tests, where we can learn more about ourselves and become more aware of how we interact with others, they aren’t really needed to know that our words and actions are important, that people need to feel loved and appreciated, and that what we receive is just as important as what we give. And how we give. As Paul wrote, “God loves a cheerful giver.”
May we feel loved, valued, and appreciated. May we help others to feel they are loved, valued, and appreciated. May our loving and may our giving, help transform our world. May it be so. Amen.