Our Memorial - May 29, 2022
Our Memorial, Carolyn Smith
The 23rd psalm - who doesn’t soften when they hear that? ... our minds go there when we think of things goodness ...
It even crosses religious lines,... that green imagery of guidance and assurance, of walking through a deep valley of struggle and feeling comfort - it’s recalled easily even when non-church folk face loss. We all sense wisdom when we hear it - even when it comesfromadifferenttradition,differentlanguages,differenttimes. Anditiswhyeven if 2000 years or 2500 years have passed since Ecclesiastes - when today’s scripture was writtendown,wehearwisdomasifitwasthoughtuphereandnow. AndEcclesiastesis wisdom for the outside of church walls too - the music played byTom:“TurnTurnTurn... - many of you automatically just whispered ‘there is a season”.... ... - timeless, embedded in us!!
Such timeless wisdom explains our rituals of gathering - for birth, marriage, coming of age and death. Differences across culture can be surprising, but the similarities of pausing, singing, speaking, of flowers and food and presence - we humans have timeless ways of Saying this moment feels important, reverent, -- all these times for every matter under heaven.
In our spring theme of “family reunion” we have reopened this built Sanctuary, created online and in-person sanctuary together, celebrated Baptism, skits with the kids and our churchanniversary. Weareplanningweddings,makingmusic,rummagingand barbecuing, we have marvelled at wee ones growing. We’ve been sharing stories of pandemictime-atimeforworkingfromhomeandatimeformaskingup. Atimefor jigsaw puzzles and a time for being bored of jigsaw puzzles. A time for baking bread or time for creating front yard birthday parties— lots and lots of time spent in creative ways.
As with any family reunion, we catch up on our stories with one another, and mark these changes,makingtimeforthingswecould’tdo. Weheareachother’sjoyfulstories,and holdeachotherwherethenewsissad. Today,wemaketimetoholdspaceforeach other and speak the names of our friends who are no longer with us. Where we would have gathered time and again in funerals and visiting hours and quiet moments, we have had to mark these losses differently. For it was a time we couldn’t imagine or plan for. It
was pandemic time and we are grieving what it cost us. Grieving distance while our loves ones were in hospital. Grieving time lost where we would have been side by side. Grieving comfort that might have lifted the fear and pain.
O God, hear our prayer.
The names we will read today are ones that are closely tied to this circle of St. Paul’s. You might not recognize all the names, but you know someone who does. I know, -God knows - there are others who aren’t named on this list - in our extended families and friends, in our work circles and schools. Some of us in health care or who watched the rising numbers -we know of many names and we hold in our prayers a world, our communities who are grieving today.
We would have marked with gatherings the passing of people close to us, and it wasn’t possibleinthewayswecounton. Wefoundalternatives,andfoundmeaningfulchanges and learned we could do new things. Still,Where we held hope that each month would bring freedom, we are still taking care today, and it is hard to see how much time has passed.
SoTodayisatimeforgatheringandatimeforremembrance. Itisatimetosupport each other and to be supported. It is a time to celebrate who we have been and who we will be because of the gifts and love and laughter and presence of friends who are no longer with us. It’s a time for stories that will bring tears, smiles and even laughter filled with love.
For all you tough cookies who have encouraged yourself - “I’m strong, I’m resilient, I’m doing ok”. - there has been lots of time for that. Today is time for lament - which is an entirely sacred and holy practice,... for our lament and sorrow as prayer and love poured out.
The Ecclesiastes scripture comes from the time of Solomon - some would say King Solomon wrote it himself - it’s wisdom that we know to be true now as ever. And something else about times for mourning and times for joy and so much else - some of it comes all at once. If you’re playing with the kids while fretting about bills - you’re holding both at the same time. If you’re celebrating holidays and birthdays while facing medical tests, you’re experiencing both at the same time. Reading the news and volunteering with friends -Feeling gratitude and contentment while accepting a time of
dying. The full experience of being human from both sides at the same time...we all do it, even if we don’t acknowledge it or haven’t ever given it value.
And holding both with intention- in one hand the delights of life and in the other our sorrow - holding both at once can be a most powerful sacred spiritual practice. There will always be worry and mourning, injustice for us to challenge, and little things like stubbed toes or spilled milk. At the same time, all the time, there are flowers blooming, infants born, and discoveries and dreams rising and the sun and moon and stars in their courses....To hold both, to balance or waver between both things with trust, with presence, is a sabbath gift and indeed our blessing as people of God.
Judy and I talked about the reading today - we all know theTime for every purpose under heaven - it's the second part is entirely unfamiliar to many as scripture, but it seems kind of smart and maybe wise - or at least she attributed it to me ;). Let me read this part to you... God’s gift to us is to eat and drink and find fulfillment... or maybe you’ve heard it this way... to eat and drink and be merry.... Oooh - could that be bible-truth?
It is! .... in that larger idea of harmony with the divine... in the totality of love and divine dream for this wide world, don’t forget how the blessing of time together, of community, how restorative it is to eat and drink and be merry together.
Tearing and scattering and hating and mourning are unavoidable, or if we manage to contain and push it away, tough cookies that we are, we accidentally numb the the joy and the delight when unavoidable goodness happens too. And what is life then without laughter that breaks through tears, and sacred sorrow that expresses love unbroken even by death? What is life without keeping, ‘reverence for the sacred alive in us?” Holding both, cherishing both with each other - one hand and one hand,
This week, we are all juggling. Holding both - this memorial for our friends, and as the sun warms, holding some birthdays and gardening and some graduations. We’re holding some particular families in our hearts today in grieving and vigil, and experiencing the celebration of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, and holding the Ukraine at war, and a prayer for peace.
We are all reeling and bitterly exhausted from the vicious absence of gun laws in the US and our anguish of the deaths of 19 children and 2 teachers and someone’s lost son.We are - every one of us - holding a lot... life means juggling these things we hold.And it can
seem surreal. It can overwhelm. We might sometimes drop the ball, or at least set them down and hide for awhile. There is a time for that too.
Draw together now- notice the screen and cameras and think of our friends gathered that way, and those who will read this message later this week. Notice the people beside or behind you - friends for the journey. Draw to mind the faces always in you mind. We as a wide family reuniting - a family of St. Paul’s - at any given time, we’re all ages and stages, all cares and concerns, there is time for each one of us... As we have risen back to life in this Easter season,
Some of us are comforting, and some need now to be comforted. Some are holding the flag of justice and daring and challenge, and others are sitting back tired for awhile. A time for every purpose under heaven. And there is nothing better than, in the totality and harmony with the divine - in all the troubles that are part of living, than to grasp God’s gift to us. To be happy, to eat drink and be merry, in thankfulness because we know just how precious our life together is. Our Sabbath gift is to stop, put down our toil and our troubles and smell the roses. To ‘see’ each other as we live our lives - in our grieving, in our toiling, in our celebrations, and to make all that sacred.
Today, we choose this day as time for remembrance together. It is mourning time together, feeling the ache of empty seats, and a celebrating time for the gifts that each of those people, our friends, these loved ones brought to our family.
We hold the sorrow in one hand ...
and in the other, may we hold memory of laughter, memory of caring and giving, memory of energy and building this community and hope for the future that they worked for and loved for and lived for.
For a moment in silence now, let’s hold each other and all who grieve and let our prayers rise...
O God, hear our prayers.
A time to love. A time to remember. With God’s everlasting blessing, we keep the sacred alive in us. Amen.