September 6 - Worship & Communion
Sermon Sept 6, 2020, Carolyn Smith
Genesis 32:22-31
Some say in troubled times, we should just keep our heads down and our mouths shut. As we gather as St. Paul’s United Church, let me quote Paul himself, from Ephesians 6: verse 20: “May I speak boldly, as I ought to speak.”
Our sermon series this fall takes on the themes of our online United Church Youth Conference Rendezvous - you will remember that we camped this summer and youth and leaders from across the country talked about “Faith Gone Wild” through the three lenses. This first month of September, our theme is BOLD Faith and, well, these past 6 months since the lockdown began, it has been a challenge as a church to be BOLD. We’ve hunkered down, looked after each other, worried about toilet paper and loneliness and mask-wearing, and getting church online and out to you all, but BOLD top of the list. And yet, let some Spirit energy stir within you, with the change of the season, with the buzz about schools opening, new political leadership dynamics, and even longterm care homes allowing family visitors finally! - maybe there is new energy… Can we be bold with it?
Last week, Deborah talked justice and kindness, and all that we need from Church. While we can’t be in our building right now, the idea of a Cornerstone, or “foundation” rings true. We come for reassurance and strength; forgiveness, inclusive room for wonder and discussion on life’s big questions. Indeed today we gather for Communion, nourished and rededicating, refreshed for the days ahead.
“May I speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” Yes, all of this. And…. Sometimes we rage. And need a church to meet us there. Sometimes we despair or feel hollow… Sometimes we protest and pour into the streets, or wish we had the courage. Sometimes we ache to be at the bedside of a friend, or better yet, find a magic cure or a time machine or something to solve a disaster or tyranny or planet devastation. Because when there is no one we can rage at or weep with, God had better be able to handle it.
Some of us cradled by strong congregations all our lives can see the blessing of these churches that softened edges, found peace in times of tragedy, brought friendship and faithful optimism. There are others who haven’t found such places. There are some who have found the opposite within church - LGBT folks, Indigenous peoples, poor and outcast who couldn’t fit in… and so many now who just don’t bother to try. Even teens we love watch the world, and our churches and wonder how Trump can stand with his hand on a bible and win elections.
“May I speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” Our faith sustains and reassures us… and in dark times, darkest ones … may our challenged faith be emboldened, may it sustain and reassure us.
Now to our story: Again, it may not have happened just like this but I know this story is true. I think you will too.
Jacob - a Father of our Faith - was hardly worthy of such title. His very name means something like “Grabber” or “Wrestler” and the stories tell of him cheating everyone in his life. Yet he was blessed. First with the foundational Blessing of his family, despite cheating them for it. Next blessed by God in a fitful dream of Jacob’s ladder, the stairway to heaven.
Jacob knew the blessings counted- he wanted them to be real and meaningful! He’d risked everything for the first blessing, and the second came in a time of despair - a reminder that he mattered to God despite all his flaws. Now, by all measures of the day, he is succeeding, he’s got a few wives and servants (both/and), several kids (apparently that was a blessing!) Herds of goats and cows, camels carrying heaps of riches, tents and shelter for all, but here 20 years later, he is still haunted by his past. The story today that Jack told comes as he is about to meet Esau his angry brother for the first time since cheating him. He is boldly bringing all his Caravan to meet him for a few reasons- a family reunion low on the list after impressing Esau with gifts of treasure and livestock; and he really hopes to create a buffer to prevent Esau from just killing him. For all his blessings, Jacob is regretful, worried and sad. This might ring true for some of us.
Bold faith rang true for our Rendezvous teens - the ones who spoke up online and courageously asked their questions - they know faith is about love and friendliness and serving, but they want it to be more. They want it to be healing and redeeming and reconciling not just for themselves but for their friends who have fallen by the wayside, or for the planet, and how do they count on leaders and adults when it all seems to be going to hell in a handbasket? Can we all be bold rather than kind, or tired or cynical? Can we be bold in our faith-sharing so we bring hope and direction and courage? I’m picturing kids fighting back against pointless promises, demanding that God be bigger than greed and racism. Wrestling with it, demanding the blessing they were promised.
Jacob saw his family safe across the river, ready for the meeting with Esau. And he returned to his now-silent camp alone - a rare thing, and many of us avoid such silence if we can because we know what creeps up in silence. All that we rage at rises up, and then betrays itself as the pain it really is.
He was alone… it doesn’t even say that he slept - and there was a person, and the wrestling began without delay - no word of who it was - but they wrestled - much more intimate that a fist fight or a weapon… at some point Jacob senses this is God, locked close, grappling, gasping. Now, I’ve read my bible stories… when one comes across God, or even an angel of God, there is a lot of kneeling and sacrificing and humble worshiping that goes on. But Jacob, at his wits end, Jacob the cheater grabber wrestler just goes at him harder as if to say “God, can you still bless me just as I am, with all this mess? Almost “I dare you.”
And the dark figure sees that Jacob will not be overcome, and Jacob’s hip is dislocated painfully. But that doesn’t end it - Jacob demands to know “WHO is this- is this WHO he thinks it is, Bless me, now!” Can Jacob bring all his pain and bitterness to God and be acknowledged, and still be worthy? Jacob is raw, honest and Bold, and so we learn something deeper than kindness and comfort.
God wants nothing more or less powerful than to reconcile us, as individuals, as community, as a people, to embrace us and bless us when all else has failed. The blessing, despite permanent pain and limping and memories, the blessing is that we know now that we aren’t alone, that hope is sustained, that people who come through such wrestling with God won’t just put their hands on a bible to show off, but we show up as ourselves, knowing we are beloved.
Jacob leaves that place with God’s blessing - limping, towards Esau into his brother’s forgiving reconciling embrace. He has a new name too: now called Israel, “one who wrestles with God.” I bet he slept soundly that night.
Paul said “May I speak boldly.” May we be wrestlers with God to find reconciliation because then we can give it, we can walk into the world with bold faith, we can be a church that makes room for those who never knew it could be so. With faith as bold as this, we