Week 2 of Lent: P.I.E. Day and Nazareth
March 8, 2020
Deborah Laforet Mark 6:1-13
“P.I.E. Day”
Let us pray. Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, O God, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14) Amen.
Ever since I was a little girl, it was assumed that I would get married to a boy and have children. In my small, Catholic community, that was the path of a young girl. I grew up in a church where the priest commented on the clothes you wore to church and refused to marry couples who were living together or who had a child outside of marriage, or was even pregnant.
Most of us have grown up in churches that have mandated how we are to live and have created rules that we were told were based on the bible and our faith tradition. It was so ingrained on us to follow the church’s teachings, that most of us didn’t question it. We followed so that we would be seen as good Christians and so that we weren’t ostracized by the church, the community, or our families and friends.
Most of us grew up being told that our bodies were sinful, that the urges of our body were unnatural and were to be ignored and pushed away. Sex is something we don’t engage in until we are married and something we don’t talk about. In church, we were to focus on our spirit, our souls, which, we were taught, were separate from our bodies, separate from all that is earthly, and that it was our goal to do all that is good, so that one day we can leave this earth and be rewarded with heaven and be with Jesus.
I’ve come to know that these beliefs are harmful, and not just to people who had babies outside marriage or to people who had to hide their different sexual preferences or gender identities, but to all people. It took me a long time to realize that my body is not bad, that sex is not shameful, and that this earth is part of who I am and where my body will rest and with which it will join when I die. I still find it difficult to talk about my body, I’m always afraid of showing too much skin, I’m obsessed with my weight, and my sexuality is a taboo subject and one that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think this is healthy.
Not only are we celebrating P.I.E. Day today, but today is International Women’s Day, a day that has been celebrating women since 1910, and is recognized all over the world. Believe it or not, women’s issues and the conversations around Two Spirited and LGBTQIA+ are connected. It’s about control of our own bodies. It’s about being accepted for the way we love and feel. It’s about equal rights and not being oppressed and discriminated against for how we express ourselves.
I have heard comments in the past while about how people are feeling about this whole affirming process. People are wondering what is the big deal and why do we have to keep talking about it. It’s made me realize how much more we need to talk about it. And that’s not a bad thing, if that’s the journey we want to take. I have noticed many times when people, confronted with questions or asked to converse about the affirming journey, remain silent or raise their hands unanimously, not saying what they are thinking or feeling, or express that we are already a welcoming church and that we welcome all. I have heard that some are wondering why we’re putting so much focus on this topic. Why we are only talking about gender and sexual identities and preferences? Others may be uncomfortable talking about sexuality in church. If we start putting up rainbows everywhere, will that make us “the gay church”? Will we be seen as THAT church, the flamboyant one, the outspoken one, the 'always harping on something’ church? Will this image attract the crazies and weirdos? What kind of church are we becoming?
It’s a good question and one that scares some of us. Change is happening quickly. Do we step on the brakes, be cautious? Or do we put the top down and enjoy the ride?
People have been excluded and marginalized for thousands of years, many times with the backing and legitimizing of religious institutions. We’ve seen, in the past few hundred years this happening in Christian churches. Protestants vs. Catholics. Christians vs. Jews. White Christians vs. Black Christian. The Christian Church vs. indigenous people. There is a long list of people the church has ostracized and we have had to make a lot of apologies. Today, and more recently in our congregation, we have been focusing on the church’s rejection and oppression of the LGBTQIA+ community. This oppression is still happening, especially in churches, all over the world.
I watched a video recently about a man who talked about his arrest as a young man for indecency. He was caught in an embrace with another man. This man was only in his seventies, so this was not very long ago. The law has begun to change, even though there is some fear that it could slide backwards, but many churches have not changed at all and are refusing to change, using freedom of religion and beliefs as a defence. There is still so much rhetoric about the sinfulness of people in a same gender relationship, or of people questioning the gender or sex in which they were raised, or even of people who decide not to marry or not to have children. The church has so much influence over people and how they believe. People who are different are afraid to walk into a church because they know they will be judged for the way they live their lives. If you see two women holding hands or two men kissing in public, you need to know that they are putting themselves at risk, sometimes of physical violence, sometimes of sneering and name-calling, sometimes of just people staring at them and judging them. To come out of the closet and to be public as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, queer, intersex, asexual, two spirited, or even just questioning is still a courageous act.
When a church decides to be an Affirming church, to be public, intentional, and explicit about, not only their acceptance, but their affirmation of all gender identities and sexual preferences, it is a courageous act. This is why an affirming church is not just a welcoming church of all people and their differences, not just welcoming of race, ability, age, socio-economic status. No. They raise a rainbow flag and call themselves an ally for the LGBTQIA+ and Two-Spirit community. They march in pride parades. They listen when stories of injustice need to be told. They walk alongside those fighting for equal rights. Because too many churches don’t, and in fact, won’t. Because it is so difficult for someone who is not cisgender or straight to find a safe place they can worship and be themselves or find a faith community of which they can be a part.
During Lent, I’m preaching on different communities that Jesus visited in his ministry and on his way to Jerusalem and the cross. We heard in our skit today that Jesus was run out of his hometown, Nazareth. He was rejected for his words and his actions. Jesus had dared to come back home as someone different. Jesus had been baptized, had spent 40 days in the desert where he was tempted by Satan, he had journeyed around Galilee, healing people and sharing his wisdom, mostly through parables. He’d even walked on water. I would guess that he was a changed man and was vastly different from when he left home. This small town boy had the audacity to come home and act with this new found authority with his own friends and family. This was not the same Jesus who had left them. He was different and they didn’t like it.
This happens all too often with people who remain in the closet their entire lives and then leave home and find the courage and the freedom to walk out of that closet. Upon going back home, they have a choice, or maybe they don’t. They could stuff themselves back into that closet, so that no one will know what they’d been up, but I wonder how many actually do or can, how many actually want to step back into that closet that seems to have shrunk into a tiny box. They could though. They could pretend that they are the same person who left home. Imagine Jesus visiting his home and pretending to be the boy they’d known, deciding not to proclaim his message or heal people. The Jesus we know and in whom we believe couldn’t have done that, wouldn’t have put his ministry into a tiny box to be taken out when it was comfortable to do so. Jesus was a risk taker and he believed in being true to one’s self.
Can this be a space where people can find the freedom to be out of the closet? Can we be a place where one can be true to one’s self. I’m not sure we’re there yet, and in fact, I think this is the question we need to answer? Do we want to put in the work? If so, then we need to vote to be an Affirming church, knowing that’s when the work begins. Becoming an ally, one who walks with people who are discriminated against for their differences, is courageous work and one that involves risk, but, my friends, I need to tell you about the most wonderful part of all this. As an ally, as one that supports others, we are indeed supporting our own loved ones and supporting our own selves. We are supporting each individual in this congregation, in this community by openly supporting people who have been historically rejected for their differences. We are telling each person that they are loved, not despite who they are, but for who they are. And when we tell each person that, we are also telling ourselves that.
Each one of us has a part of us that we hide because we feel embarrassment or shame and we hold fear of being judged. Imagine if we all felt confident enough to share that part of ourselves because we knew we would not be judged, because we knew we would find acceptance, and we knew that we would be loved, not just for the commonly accepted parts, the good, the kind, the creative and intelligent parts of us, but also for the disturbing parts, the weird parts, the different, commonly unaccepted, wild and crazy, embarrassing and shameful parts of ourselves that we are afraid to show the world. Imagine.
After church, please join us for soup and for further conversation. I invite you to be brave and share your thoughts, your questions, your struggles. If we can’t talk about it, we cannot authentically vote later to be an Affirming church. When people walk through our doors, when people decide to try out this church that professes to be affirming, they will know if we truly have had these conversations and if we truly are striving to follow our vision statement, to be a safe and inclusive faith community for people of all gender identities, sexual orientations, marital status, family configuration, abilities, ages, races, ethnicities, faiths, and socio-economic circumstances, and who truly will encourage all people to participate fully in all aspects of the life and work of our ministry. They will know because they have had lots of practice in knowing where it is safe to be themselves.
So, let’s be open and honest. You can start over pie after church. You can do that by coming to talk to Carolyn and I or inviting us to come talk to you or write us or the Affirming committee a letter or email. Find the way that is most comfortable for you. Bring a friend if that helps. The whole point of the Affirming process is to talk, to educate, to connect, and to be able to speak freely and honestly what’s on our minds and in our hearts.
I’ve come a long way since living in that little Catholic town in Michigan. Going away to university helped, but having these conversations in theological school and in church circles has broadened my mind and opened my heart, especially to the pain that has been caused by telling someone they cannot be themselves and that they cannot express the love they feel.
May we all find that safe place to share our thoughts and feelings. May we all discover the freedom to be ourselves and be true to ourselves. May we know that we are loved for all that we are. May it be so. Amen.