Family Reunions - Advent 3 - December 12, 2021
Exodus 4:27-29 & Exodus 16:20-21 & Matthew 1:18-25
Deborah Laforet
Family Conflict
Let us pray. May the words from my lips and the meditations of my heart be guided by the Spirit and be words of wisdom for this day. Amen.
Families can be complicated. They have histories. They have dysfunction. They have skeletons in their closets. You can find all kinds of emotions within families, including jealousy, anger, sadness, feelings of abandonment and betrayal. The love within a family is special. It’s strong and it’s powerful, so when this love is neglected or betrayed, it’s extra painful.
This is our third week of talking about extraordinary families. Next week, we will experience four biblical families from the Hebrew Scriptures, weaving their way through our Sunday School pageant. The first week of Advent, we heard the story of Jacob, Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah, and their thirteen children. Last week, we looked at the story of Naomi and Ruth. Today, we look at another ancient story of a family who were separated and then reunited as adults.
Moses is one of the most famous figures from the bible. Moses faced the powerful Pharaoh of Egypt, and with the support of God and many plagues, convinced Pharaoh to release the Hebrews held in captivity as slaves. Moses led his people out of Egypt and across the desert for 40 years before finally reaching the promised land, but he was not alone.
The story of Moses’ birth is a popular story. At the time, because of the growing number of Hebrew slaves and fear of a slave revolt, the Pharaoh ordered the death of all Hebrew male newborns. Trusting in God, one mother of a newborn, decided to put her child in a basket, put the basket into the river, and pray that God would save his life. The basket floated into the arms of an Egyptian princess, who decided to care for this infant and make him her own, naming him Moses.
Moses was separated from his family and was adopted into another. He became part of a royal Egyptian household. It wasn’t until he was an adult, that he became separated from this family as well. In defence of a slave, Moses killed an Egyptian soldier, ran away into the desert, where he joined another family, got married, and settled into a new life.
But God called him back, not to his privileged Egyptian life, but to free the Hebrew slaves, to free his birth family, who he finally meets upon returning. Aaron and Miriam are his older siblings and they join their younger brother in this mission. We don't hear of the intimacies of this relationship, but we can use our imagination. We have a younger brother, who had grown up with royalty and privilege, joining two older siblings who had been born into slavery, fighting to survive most of their lives. I can’t imagine this reunion was smooth. There must have been resentment, jealousy, and a lack of understanding.
Another story that we will touch on in the pageant that we won’t have time to delve into, is the story of King David and his children. King David had 21 children and there are many stories of the conflicts between these children. In one instance there was a sexual assault that caused a war between two of the sons and with their father, and in another instance, there were battles over who was to be David’s successor. There are lots of dynamics between siblings, and even more so where there is money and power in the mix.
Moses, Aaron, and Miriam were separated at birth and by privilege and power. This may have caused some volatile dynamics, but because they had the same mission, to free the Hebrew slaves and bring them to the promised land, they worked together, possibly forming a strong bond over time.
The second story shared with us this morning was from our Christmas story as told to us, this time, in the gospel of Matthew. In this story, Joseph decides to break off his engagement with Mary when he discovers she is pregnant, and not by him. In a dream, he receives a message to stick by Mary and that she will have a son, they will name him Jesus, and that this child is destined for great things. Now Joseph could have woken up and dismissed this dream, choosing to protect his solid reputation and leave Mary to her own devices, but he chooses to listen. Like Moses, who received the call to return to his people and save them, Joseph is told to return to Mary and save her and her unborn child.
The dynamics within families are complex. We all know this. I could tell you stories about the dynamics in my own family, the trauma, the dysfunction, the emotional toll that it sometimes takes. Sometimes I look at other families and feel jealousy for what I perceive as a well-put-together family with lots of shared love, but, it’s the old adage about walking in someone else’s shoes. One discovers that no one’s life is perfect, that the grass isn’t always greener, that all families seem to have problems, difficulties, and struggles.
It’s important for us to remember that there is a lot going on within a family. Family units can be very isolated from the rest of the world. Sometimes a lot of stress can be happening within in a family that is difficult for others to see, and, unfortunately, we don’t tend to talk openly about the hardships happening within our families. This is when it becomes important to stay in touch, to make phone calls, to not assume that social media is telling the whole story, to sit back and listen without judging or making assumptions. This is not easy.
Families need support. They need to know that people will stand by them, no matter what. When families are having difficulties, when it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under them, these are the most important times to show that they have a place to land. A faith community can be that place of stability and safety, comfort and reassurance, support and love, but we really need to learn how to do that. How do we support a family in the midst of divorce? How do we support single-family homes? How do we support families struggling with addiction and abuse? How do we support families who are struggling financially or with physical or mental illnesses?
During this time of Advent and Christmas, amidst the twinkling lights, the carols, the festivities, and cold weather, many of us think of family. We look upon the Holy Family, surrounded by angels, shepherds, and magi, and we think of family. It’s a season to gather with families, sometimes whether we want to or not. Whether it’s a family with whom we’ve grown or a family we have chosen, it’s a time to be generous, to offer words of love and good will; to be of service, and sometimes it’s a time for reconciliation and forgiveness. Christmas isn’t always a happy time, but it can be a time of miracles, tiny moments of hope, peace, joy, and love.
May you find love and joy amidst those with whom you gather this season. May the love of God surround you with love and assurance during times of stress and difficulty during this season. May the light of Christ be your guide and may the Spirit be your eternal companion. May it be so. Amen.